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Toolbox
Conversational Tools
When you are looking for ideas about what to say, we can help. We will continue to add scripts and dialogues here to help you begin those difficult conversations and step into the results you are creating and allowing.
DISCOVERING PURPOSE
In response to a statement like: “I don’t know what to do.”
I know you don’t know, but if you did, what would it be?
In response to a complaint:
OK. I get that you don’t like that /want that /accept that. What do you want instead?
In response to a suggestion:
That’s a great idea. Would you be interested in helping me flesh it out?
In response to a compliment:
Thank you! I really appreciate you noticing/recognizing/saying that. That means a lot to me.
BECOMING OPEN-MINDED
In response to a statement like: “I haven’t done this before.”
Neither have I. It can be scary. I’ve got your back. You’re not alone.
In response to a complaint:
Have I not been clear in the vision? Please help me set the stage better. With more information, does that change your outlook?
In response to a suggestion:
Tell me more. Help me understand your desired outcome and what you envision.
In response to a compliment:
Thank you! I’m glad you are on board with this idea.
DEVELOPING WISDOM
In response to a statement like: “We’ve never/always done that before.”
What about this new idea concerns you? Giving something up or the unknown? Are you willing to try?
In response to a complaint:
I get that. I’m glad you brought this up. Do you see anything in this current situation that resembles something you’ve experienced before? What did you learn there that would be helpful here?
In response to a suggestion:
That is a very interesting idea. Tell me more. Where did you learn about that?
BUILDING ENERGY
In response to a statement like: “I don’t have enough time” or “It just doesn’t feel right.”
Tell me more about that. Does thinking about what you have to do cause you to feel
heavy or light?
In response to a complaint:
Acknowledge the complaint using a “feel” word. How would you like to feel instead?
In response to a suggestion:
I hadn’t thought about that. That’s interesting. Tell me more. (How does their suggestion cause you to feel? If heavy, acknowledge it for you. If light, tell them that.)
OWNING RESPONSIBILITY
In response to a statement like: “I have too much to do. I can’t get it done.”
OK. What is it that takes up the majority of your time? What is bogging you down most? How does that impact your work?
In response to a complaint:
I hear you. There are I things I don’t like about what I have to do, too. If you knew that you could spend 80% of your job doing things you enjoyed, would you be willing to devote 20% to tasks and necessities you know have to get done even if you don’t love doing them?
Experiential Tools
When you are looking for activities to help engage and connect your people, we've got you covered. These ideas work well when teams journal their experiences and share them with each other in regular intervals (ideally weekly or bi-weekly). Those offered here are examples from the book where you will get several others as well.
DISCOVERING PURPOSE
Notice What You Notice. Set the intention at the beginning of the week, and record observations. What grabs your attention enough so that you feel called to record that? Scan your environment without judging, and just notice.
BECOMING OPEN-MINDED
Give What You Most Want. For the next week, make it a point to give to someone else something you most want. If it’s money you want, give some. If it’s respect, give that. Whatever you most want, give it to someone else. Record what you notice and how you feel.
DEVELOPING WISDOM
When Was the First Time? Sit quietly and ponder the first time you made a big mistake at work. Really go there. What happened? What were the circumstances that caused you to make the mistake? Replay the scene in your mind. What did you learn from that experience? What will you do again in spite of the mistake? What will you not do again in spite of a success? Bring this learning to the forefront and remind yourself that you could only have learned this lesson from this situation.
BUILDING ENERGY
Keep a Victory Journal. You won’t remember the specifics of the small wins you experience daily unless you record them. Don’t wait to only celebrate the big victories; as you notice what causes you to feel joyful and appreciated and any other feeling you desire, you will begin to trace your feeling back to an action. The more you recognize the connection, the more you can reproduce those desired outcomes.
OWNING RESPONSIBILITY
Did Well, Do Better. Whenever you accomplish a task or give a speech or presentation, take out a piece of paper and draw a vertical line down the middle. On one side write “Did Well” and on the other side “Do Better Next Time.” As you are evaluating your own performance, be honest, but don’t be too harsh. Make a note and adjust next time, and you will be on the path to mastery.